Finding My Worth

Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change- Shannon L. Alder

Toward the end of 2018 I started to really focus on what self- worth meant to me. I had been working at the same job for 8 ½ years as a Pharmacy Technician. I was busting my tail for $10.50 an hour. Totally not worth it. Why was I doing this to myself?! If you don’t already know, working in a Pharmacy is one of the most stressful jobs there is. It’s fast-paced, people are sick, people want their drugs, man. It’s a real whirl wind.

                Don’t get me wrong! I LOVED that job. I totally thrive in a fast-paced environment like that…it’s just the way my brain is wired. I was so blessed to meet and help care for some amazing individuals. Some of them I bump into from time to time which brings me so much joy. My pharmacists and co-workers were beyond awesome (well, most of them anyways. You know who you are!) And let me tell you, I was a bad-ass at my job. I don’t usually boast about myself like that, but I know how good I was. No, I was the best. I knew it, my team knew it, but the company wasn’t willing to compensate me for my bad-assery. So, I set my boundaries: I wanted $15 an hour with 6 month reviews/potential raises (which I would totally deserve because, again, bad-ass.) When they told me they wouldn’t be able to do that, “because of the Union, blah blah,” I knew it was time to go. So, I gave my two weeks and jetted on out of there.

                I finally did it, you guys! It took me 8 ½ years to do it, but I did it. My hubby had been telling me for YEARS to get out. He knew my worth before I even started working there. But, I couldn’t see it. My judgement was clouded by my love for my patients. I’m crying even now, just thinking about how I love them so much. I even had a couple of ‘boyfriends’ that came in. (You know what I’m talking about! Those cute older gentlemen –usually with a round, jolly belly. Be still my heart.) One of them passed in 2017, his daughter came in looking for me and said, “OH! You’re his girlfriend! He talked about you all the time!”… I about lost my mind. Those moments mean the world to me. I was hanging onto my love for my pharmacists as well. I have worked with many pharmacists in my day, but with my last two I feel I learned multiple lessons from. One of them is that I matter, and taking care of me is extremely important. Another is to do my best to remain calm through all situations. You know, take life easy and try not to sweat the small stuff. They helped me become who I am on this very day, and for that I am forever grateful. The amount of gratitude I have for my husband, however, is unmatchable.

For whatever crazy reason, I have been gifted the most generous man. He works 40 hours a week, comes home and works more on our home and garden and scarcely says anything negative about it. Of course, we all have our ups and downs and have to work through cycles. No one is perfect. But, this man is perfect for me. Nate has been my biggest supporter. My biggest fan, even. Quitting my job is affording me an opportunity that a lot of people do not receive and my hubby is 100% backing me up, and helping me to work on myself and achieve my dreams. Right now that means I’m not working. (Not at an actual job that pays me, anyway.) This means my focus is finally where it needs to be. On me. On my health (I have an autoimmune condition that I will post about at a later time). Because I am fixing my health, and healing my body I also have the opportunity to focus on the things that matter most to me: A sustainable, zero waste lifestyle; healthy eating; gardening focus (SAVE THE BEES!). Because I can do all of these things, I feel happier as a wife and mother. I feel like because I found my worth I have been able to give so much more. Where it counts. With my family and soon…my community.

I’ve landed in the valley of change and I’m not going back.

Peace and Unconditional Love,

Jamma

2 Comments

  1. You are Gorgeous! You are absolutely amazing and extremely worthy of all the happiness💗 I love you! You are such a great friend, mother and wife! Keep on being the badass you know you are😉

    Liked by 1 person

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