Fierce female friendships are hard to come by. They take a lot of cultivating and nurturing. In dog language, there’s a lot of butt sniffin’! We have to make sure they’re true friends. Someone in which we can bare our souls. Share smiles and tears, triumphs and failures. Someone who never judges you, and is always there to support you. She’s the person you tell your deepest, darkest secrets because you know you can trust her with your whole heart. She’s there for you to throw a pity party when you break up with someone and the first person to congratulate you on your successes. She is a queen in your eyes, and you in hers. There’s nothing you can’t get through. The best part is, you don’t even have to have just one best friend or fierce female friendship. You can hold multiple in your heart at one time. You can share love freely for there is no jealousy and no excessive expectations. You form a tribe, a strong circle of women you choose to surround yourself with light and love. When you find your tribe, hold on tight, because there’s nothing you won’t be able to accomplish!
When you meet someone on the first day of kindergarten you never really expect them to become a lifelong friend. You see, as a five-year-old, you don’t really have that kind of forethought. You just see this kid with a bowl cut, who, consequently ends up being a girl, and your friend for the next 24 years. There we were on the first day of kindergarten and I asked if she was a boy, she told me she was a girl, and introduced herself. The rest is history. She will never let that down, and I am totally ok with that! It’s very keeping in tone with the rest of our goofball friendship. While we’ve had our differences over the years, we’ve pretty much been friends ever since that first day of school! We’ve shared clay making and beach days, summer birthday parties and late nights welcoming the sunrise of the next day. She’s wild and free spirited, and has a knack for getting crafty and creative. Her passion for art took her across the country for six long years, and when she moved back it felt like I was regaining a part of my soul. There’s nothing our friendship can’t conquer!
In fifth grade I met this scrawny little Italian looking girl. She was a tomboy, just like me, and hung out with the family of boys that used to live on the same street as me. We played every so often but really didn’t become close until we were fifteen. Our friendship grew fast and strong. We had so much fun goofing around with each other. We did everything with each other, even lived with each other for some time. We were inseparable! As time went on, life moved her 3 hours north, but there wasn’t any amount of distance that could shatter our bond. There are times I still miss her so terribly, I swear I can feel her missing me back. She’s the cheese to my cracker. She’s smart, creative, artistic, and the mother of two absolutely perfect little girls. Even though the distance is far and the visits are few, when we’re with each other it’s like time has never passed.
I have a very colorful past. People like to describe me as “free spirited.” I’ll take it! In my rebellious years, I met a sweet, seemingly innocent little blonde girl who took me under her wing my senior (her junior) year of high school. The spring prior, I went to her birthday party where Sublime’s 40oz to Freedom was playing, and I gave her a peace sign necklace. Little did we know that would set the tone for the next 13 years of our friendship. We spent many weekends together during my last year in high school, we hung out during the summers, and I visited her when she went away to college. Eventually, a life run by art brought her back to the west side and we soon started spending every minute together. We shared weekly routines of watching our favorite shows, an unnatural love for olives, and deep conversations. Our souls connect on a powerful level. She’s always been able to fill my cup, even when she’s a million miles away adventuring or at school learning to be more awesome. Forever a student, curious, witchy, and wild. She is my soul sister.
Broken and shattered after breaking up with our boyfriends, my hilarious Venezuelan beauty of a friend stumbled into my life in January 2013. We’d known each other throughout the years, but this was our time to shine. We didn’t need no stinkin men! We ran our own lives, made our own money (as little as it was), and had a whole lot of freedom. This lady’s sassitude got me through one of my toughest breakups, and she never let me feel down for long. I went through a long bout of severe depression and anxiety, to the point I was physically ill and didn’t ever want to leave my house. She always came over to keep me company and made me laugh. She teased me (in a way I also found humorous) and called me Sheila. For anyone who doesn’t get that reference I strongly suggest watching the show Shameless. Although time has made our lives busy, we still find time throughout the year to see each other and often text about the weird things only the two of us like. Most other people would think we were freaks…oh well, we have each other!
I don’t know if many of you feel the same way as me, but making friends as an adult is kind of difficult. You become pickier, which is a good thing. You’ve had enough time to assess the world and the different types of people in it. You get to pick and choose who you spend your time with, for the most part. What I mean by that is, when you start dating someone, you also start dating their friends. Thankfully my husband’s friends are cool. It was slow-going in the beginning, more of that butt sniffing I was talking about earlier, and a long observation period. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without them. Their undying love for my husband and I, all their support over the years–how lucky was I to find a man with such wonderful female friends? More members to add to my tribe! Excitingly enough, one of those wonderful women is Jamma! Now look at us, after six years of knowing each other we’re doing big things together like running this blog.
While I hold all of these fierce female friendships in very high regards, there is one female friendship all the rest can’t touch. That’s the sister friendship. Luckily, I got me one of those, and she’s the coolest! Growing up, we fought a lot. We are only 19 months apart and shared a room for the better part of 18 years. We loved each other, but because both our personalities are so big, it was better for us to love each other from different households. As adults, I can say with great confidence neither of us have stronger ties than the bond we share with each other. I can’t even tell you all the times my sister was there for me, and there have been some really rough times. She’s the person I tell all my secrets, the person who makes me feel at home even if I’m not, and easily the funniest person I have ever met! Seriously, there is not one moment of quick-witted humor she’s ever missed. Now that we’re both in our late 20’s, we’ve cultivated a more mature relationship. Due to mental and physical health needs over the years, we’re both very concerned about our diets and self-care. We’re getting into the same healing methods, too. Eating healthy, seeing counselors, learning our empathic gifts, practicing yoga and meditation, crystal healing, dog and kitty snuggling, and so much more! She’s wise beyond her years and stronger than most people know. She’s the love of my life and I couldn’t walk through it without her holding my hand. I love you so much sissy!
To say I consider myself lucky to have these fierce female friendships is an absolute understatement. These women have helped shape my life in a way that has made me who I am today. They’ve loved me unconditionally, helped guide me through tough times, and have always been there for me without question when I needed them most. I could devote 68374902 blog posts to these women and it wouldn’t ever be enough. I’ve found my tribe and I’m never letting go. They are my forever people.
Do you have a tribe of fierce female friendships? If so, give us a glimpse into the bond you share. How did you meet the women in your tribe? What kind of bonds do you share? How long have you been friends for? Please share your experiences and friendships with us! We look forward to hearing about you and your tribe.
With Love,
Kay