I’m Not Lonely, I’m Alone

Good morning and happy Friday to all! When this post goes live I will be on the breathtaking northern shores of Lake Charlevoix with the best tribe EVER! Woop woop 🙌

Sneak peek of beautiful Lake Charlevoix

Today’s blog title comes from a song called Holy by Jamila Woods. She speaks to the affect that there’s a difference between being lonely and alone. She articulates the difference beautifully while also painting a colorful picture of self love, strength, and hope. This is what today’s post is going to be about. Being alone, not lonely. If you’d like to listen to the song, click here. It gives me ALL the feels!

Being alone is something I’m still learning. It’s part of being independent whether it’s forced due to a living situation, you’re learning to be alone, or you already enjoy alone time. I’m learning there are tricks to being alone, especially when the noise in your head doesn’t want you to be. I’m also learning how wonderful it can be once I get myself there.

For someone who is easily overwhelmed and over stimulated, it’s extremely important to have alone time to decompress and quiet all the noise. Recently, I’ve been choosing to read, meditate, practice yoga, color in my coloring books, and make/complete to-do lists. I’m able to hold space for myself to be alone while also being creative and productive. I end up with a sense of happiness and accomplishment. That helps me feel confident and gives me a self-esteem boost. It is absolutely necessary for me to have all of that in my life. It’s important we all have that in our lives. What are some fun things you like to do in your alone time?

Alone time is also good to get important tasks done. I like to call them my impossible tasks. A task I need to do, am capable of doing, but can’t or won’t due to lack of mental energy or confidence. About once a month, I’ll take an entire day to get everything done I’ve been putting off. I like to be alone because I’m more focused, and these tend to be important or involved tasks so I need to be at my best. These tasks can be anything from getting blood work done to getting the oil changed. Picking up prescriptions to paying bills. Making phone calls (which I hate), or driving all around grocery shopping and running errands. These unaccomplished tasks hold stressful weight both mentally and physically on our bodies and can make us feel injured or ill. It’s important to set time aside to take care of the things in our lives that cause us stress. Sometimes, that requires alone time.

Queen Anne’s Lace standing alone. Tall and proud.

Another aspect of being along is living alone. While I’ve never personally lived alone, I have many friends and family who live alone. It’s tough when you live alone because there can be many times you end up feeling lonely. You can only walk your dog and clean your house so many times. So what do you do when you end up feeling lonely because you’re alone? Plenty!

My friend lives with her boyfriend but he’s often on the road so every couple of weeks she invites me over for dinner and we hang out for the evening. We laugh, make a ton of food, and eat til we make ourselves sick. She specifically finds ways to be alone but also entertain herself. My sister lives alone, as well. She has a dog she does everything with, and she also needs human contact. She travels back home often to visit and has plenty of friends and things to do out where she lives. She uses her alone time to work on herself. She’s a very dedicated person when it comes to her mental and digestive health and that takes a lot of time to master. She’s a very inspiring woman. I have another friend going to grad school out in Iowa…6.5 hours away. So I can’t just go visit her for dinner and she can’t just swing by for a playdate with her dog. So what’s a girl to do? YOGA! And lots of it. Not only that, but she has a beautiful husky boy, school, and a job. While she has a few friends out there she did start to feeling lonely. She has since realized she’s not putting roots down and her purpose for being there is to get educated. Being alone and lonely is hard, but she manages by keeping her mental game strong with her yoga and meditation and a looootttttt of hilarious group texts with our tribe.

So being alone can be lonely, but it doesn’t always have to be. There are many things we can do to make ourselves feel less lonely, and the most important thing we can do to combat loneliness is love ourselves. That frees up all sorts of space for us to accomplish anything we put our minds to. Even being alone.

English Daisies, some of my favorite wildflowers!

What are some things you do during your alone time? Is it hard for you to be alone, or do you love it can’t get enough of it? Please, share your stories. We’d love to hear from our growing community.

Quick shout out to all our readers out there! We see you Germany, Canada, India, Australia, Spain, China, France, Romania, Denmark, Philippines, Kenya, Nigeria, United Kingdom, United Arab Emirates, Portugal, and Sweden! Keep sharing our posts and telling your friends. We are absolutely geeking out over here. Thank you for all that you do, fam!

All my love and gratitude,

Kay 💛

2 Comments

  1. There’s just one word difference between being alone and lonely, the word is want. I know that the times I have wanted to be alone, I am fine and not lonely. The times I have not wanted to be lonely, I am not fine with being alone. Living and wanting to share the experiences with another humans is an inherent part of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Over Soil! Thank you for connecting with us on this post. I’m so sorry I didn’t respond right away. I agree with what you said. There’s definitely a want in the equation. We can want to be alone not lonely. It’s not necessarily always a choice, feeling lonely, but it happens. That’s the beauty of being able to shift your perspective and make some small changes in your life to love and accept being alone, not lonely. And it’s totally an inherent part of us wanting to share the human experience. That’s a huge part of allowing ourselves to feel less lonely, even if it’s just a quick text or comment on a blog!

    Be well my friend!

    Like

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