How Creating Boundaries Shaped my 2019

Hello all and welcome back to the blog. 2019 was a wild and crazy year, now 2020 is here to prove to be even more exciting. Each you year is a new chance at proving to yourself you can be exactly who you’ve dreamed about being. Setting goals and sticking to them, taking on new challenges, refining and defining who you are. We don’t need a new year to tell us to do this. It just feels right to have a starting point and what better time to start over than at the beginning of the year?

2019 was a huge year of growth for me. I learned how to set boundaries for myself and it changed who I was in all the best ways possible.

In January I lost my cushy job that provided me a schedule, money, and supports in ways I didn’t even realize. My mental health was in the garbage, and my physical health was even worse. I’d been giving too much of myself without even knowing it. I was exhausted, sick, and going nowhere fast.

Losing my job was hard but it taught me something invaluable. I needed to set boundaries for myself! I needed to respect myself and prove that I loved myself more than my job. I could no longer work a 9-5 and be happy, and that was ok. In losing my job I gained so much strength. At first, I was depressed. I’d never been let go from a job before. After much reflection, I realized that the office life wasn’t the life for me and I needed to set new boundaries to live by.

I worked hard on my mental health for 4 months and began to see changes. One boundary I set for myself was to never work in an office again. That cut a lot of job opportunities out of the running for me, but that didn’t matter. My health was the only thing that mattered. So I found seasonal work that fit into my life like a perfect puzzle piece.

I worked at Weesies, a local garden center, caring for and selling plants. I LOVED that job. So much that I’m going back for a second season. While working there, I learned a great deal about myself. I learned that I have a passion for plants. I learned that it’s ok to slow down the pace and smell the wild flowers, both figuratively and literally. I learned that my job doesn’t define me and that I am much more than what I choose to do for work. I found value and purpose in my everyday life, which I’d been missing for years. I also found that I can walk through life with less stress doing what I love instead of what I “should” be doing to make money.

Another boundary I set for myself was abstaining from alcohol. It was literally making me crazy! I don’t believe I had a major problem, but it was a enough of a problem that I didn’t want on my plate anymore. It was no longer serving me in anyway, and almost 9 months later I couldn’t be happier. My mental health has skyrocketed not being clouded by the affects of alcohol. I can now control my anger, have more meaningful conversations with people (especially my husband), and really see my world through clear lenses. I’ve learned new ways to enjoy my time and find value in the simple things in life, like coloring, doing yoga, walking in nature, or spending an evening eating delicious food with good friends or family. This boundary was probably the biggest boundary I set for myself and has done the most good for my mental and physical health.

As the year went by, I found myself setting more and more boundaries. You might think I was closing myself off, but really I was opening my world to so many new possibilities and opportunities. Self-talk was another boundary I worked on throughout the year. I’m no longer accepting negative self-talk. I still catch myself with negative thoughts, but the important part is that I catch myself. I learned a new lesson, a rule to live by: Ahimsa. The practice of all non-violence, which included violence to myself. When people think about violence they usually think about physical violence, but in this case, it was mental and emotional. I wasn’t very nice to myself and it showed. I was self deprecating, self loathing, and full of negative self-talk. I’d tell myself I wasn’t good enough, I could be doing so much more! What I really needed was to take a step back and practice Ahimsa and self love.

Some people might think boundaries are a bad thing. They keep you from enjoying certain experiences and close you off from the world. In reality, like I stated before, they open up the door to new possibilities! How can I live my life with integrity and respect? Set boundaries. How can I prove to myself that I love myself? Set boundaries. How can I improve my life while making sure I accept only the things that serve me? Set boundaries!

By setting boundaries we make promises to ourselves that we will no longer accept the things that don’t serve us, we prove that we love ourselves, we practice self-control, we are able to come up with creative ideas to do activities we love, and see our lives from a brighter perspective.

Boundaries are important for everyone to have, and it’s important for us to be mindful of other’s boundaries, as well. Be conscious with your boundaries and practice them daily.

What are some boundaries you have? If you don’t have boundaries, are there any that could help improve your life?

Thank you for joining me today. Join me again in two weeks for 5 great ways to set boundaries. As always, I hope your life is full of health and happiness!

All my love,
Kay 💗

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