For the Love of Unplanned Pregnancy

An Invocation for the Full Moon in Leo and Valentine’s Day

My partner and I continually learn how to lean into one another, delegating responsibility. Piecing ourselves together upon discovery of our new muse on Labor Day of 2019.

Separated at the time, it felt like a surreal surprise that was almost to be expected.  Under stress of challenged fears, our love remained throughout the number of attempts to cut cords. Unsure of what direction was desirable, my mind wavered with decisions to be made. Alike cresting waves dropping into troughs, my emotions rode along hormonal tides of change.  A motherly patience developed within the months following.

There isn’t a right or wrong answer to conceiving. Allowing myself to feel into every possibility is within feminine nature, and it’s not stuck to one gender, but more so an offering of being open enough to listen (and to speak). What’s happening inside is not to be dictated by external opinions. Fortunately, I’m surrounded with mothers and teachers who’d inspired this creation to move forward. They’ve honestly nurtured this experience in whatever way it’s presented itself.

Whenever abortion was heavily considered unique blockages arose. Small, but significant moments- like the computer or cell phone never fully loading the confirmation screen… every attempt. Those days contained a heavy-hearted struggle. The father-to-be wanted to respect whatever decision, yet broken tones with a head lowered shared more truth. Before, I’d always given myself comforting ideals of being able to drop off difficulty and move away, but that tendency’s calling began to diminish.

Sense of security gained momentum at the 16th week. Witnessing a little human move round though ultrasound made it all the more real. Seeing 10 little fingers with functioning organs brought life into full attention. It felt sweetly without words other than “wow”. Now at 28 weeks along, her presence encourages my faith in human divinity; she’s live art building form within my womb.

We’ve been given the gift of perception, and though thoughts can contribute to adversary, our willingness to openly observe holds power in compassion. This combining dance of two creating a whole… a relationship practicing love through showing up to all colors of emotion. When approaching doubt, we continue learning how to create something of strength and nourishment together.

Blessed be the full moon in Leo & Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether sharing it with yourself or beloved, open the door to care.

Michaela

A Letter to Love

Dearest,

Teach us patience… healthy responses to diffuse triggered reactions. Detach our feelings from drama in compassion for what’s wounded with disregard for the wicked. May our heart’s temperance relate to mental discernment. Bathe our innocence in forgiveness, humility, prudence and self-regulation, and may these attributes be justly protected.

Through considerate observation, help us create a society that begets respect. Clear our names of all that was once carried so heavily, so that we may show up more presently with hope. Through mastering raw emotions, let us build on our integrity, and from it we’ll create stable foundations. Direct our greatest projects of trust with courage; all anxieties being surrendered.

Finally, may peace be the result when conquering fear. Manifest contended endings in birthing new beginnings. Lead our awareness to a sweeter potential; one that sustains kinder understanding. From our internal to the external, blessed be it all and so it is.

Relaxing in sincerity,
Your humbled student

Love Anointing Ritual

This may be done alone or with a partner and suggested to be performed on a Friday during the waxing moon (on its way to full). Read through directions and adjust as desired.

Gather the following:

  • Four white beeswax candles
  • A pointed edge to carve candles
  • Almond or sesame massage oil (modify if allergic)
  • Neroli essential oil
  • Epsom salts

1) Carve an intentional symbol on each candle…
Such as pictures of a home, heart, stick figure, and/or money symbol. Each symbol scribed in the candle is designated for an intention or prayer. For example, the home may be associated to our dreams in a home, and the heart connected with an invocation of love and loyalty. The stick figure may represent how we wish to show up and design ourselves, and a money symbol could correlate with how we dream to finance projects and creative pursuits.

Be playful! It may look or sound however way without criticism. If done with a partner, take a minimal five minutes each to both share without interruption. Be willing to fully listen without thinking over-top of your partners expression.

2) After ideas or prayers are spoken for each candle, light it up! Set the tone for the room. Play music, dance or relax. Whatever suits your fancy.
Check out my playlist, “This will be our year” on Spotify (michaelajane0415)

3) Dilute neroli into massage oil. Don’t overdo it… 8-10 drops. Adjust amounts accordingly and research the benefits of neroli! It’s said to have calming and aphrodisiac effects.
(Pure Gold Essential Oils was the best smelling and most affordable)

4) Bathe alone or with your partner. If there’s a tub, soak in an epsom salt bath with 8-10 drops of neroli essential oil (use less or none for skin sensitivity). Showering is also an option with a homemade epsom salt scrub. Massage and intentionally cleanse with the scrub.

5) Pat dry after bathing. Massage yourself or one another with massage oil blend created in Step 3. Appreciate, give and receive love.

6) When all seems finished, extinguish the candles if they’ve yet to fully melt.

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