I had another topic planned for today. That’s life, isn’t it? Well, that’s death, too. My old man says, “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I have to remind myself of this often, because it is necessary to remember that I do not have control over everything. I am but a small speck on this planet, in this universe, among other small specks. The Life/Death Cycle, you see, isn’t controllable . We are only allotted so much time. And this cycle, the Life/Death cycle, is very much a part of us all.
Today I’m sharing with you how I’m melding my emotional and logical mind through womanhood, nature, and The Map of Transition Emotions.
The Life/Death cycle as a woman
If we look (briefly) at the menstrual cycle we see that women go through each season within each and every cycle, each month, aligning with the moon. It’s quite beautiful.
The cycle (bleed) starts in Winter where we have less energy. It’s a time to look within, move slowly, etc. During bleed time we are literally shedding the lining that could have held and then birthed another living being.
Next, we move to Spring where we find we are starting to have more energy, we see the light at the end of the tunnel and we start feeling the sun shine upon us. Our masculine hormones are starting up again and preparing us to hold new life.
Then comes Summer! Ohhhh the sun is out we have all the energy and we are prepared for it all! Literally, in the Summer season of my body, I feel like I’m on top of the world and I can accomplish anything.
Finally, we move into Fall where we are slowing down, and preparing the start our cycle all over again. This is the season where feminine energy starts taking over, making us say, “logic? Who dat?” Emotions are heightened, sound sensitivities increase, etc.
Repeat.
The Life/Death cycle in nature
Earth gives us this Life/Death cycle every year- just as it does in the feminine body each month. Winter gives way to much death. All the energy going back into the earth to give way to new life in the Spring. There’s tons of growth through Spring and Summer. Then, we start to see the slow down in Fall, giving way to death and letting the cycle start all over again.
What a beautiful cycle women share with mama earth! It is apparent to me that this cycle is important. We are, after all, born to live and then die, giving our bodies back to the earth. In turn we are replaced by the new life that comes into this world by the same body that shares the same cycles with mama earth. This is why earth is “she”.
We also find the Life/Death cycle with fungus, which thrive on decaying matter.
This cycle is so logical! It makes sense, and for some it makes so much sense that they feel no desire to mourn or feel upset about a death. Death, after all, is very much a part of life!
When logic meets emotion, we have acceptance of the Life/Death cycle
Logically, I understand, cherish, and accept this cycle.
Emotionally, death has hit me and I’m mourning the recent loss of my uncle. I mourn especially for my aunt. She lost her husband. Out of all the things I knew about my uncle, I knew that he loved my aunt very, very much, and she loved him. The loss of a soulmate…that’s tragic, and it has broken my heart.
Emotionally, I mourn.
Logically, I understand it is okay to mourn, and there is much more to death than meets the heart.
Barely two days after my uncle passed from Covid complications, my friend had her baby, Serenity. It’s a good name for a child born into a pandemic, isn’t it? There’s such power in a woman giving birth. There’s so much power in a new little being finally taking it’s first breath of life…that moment it is now breathing the same air that we all breathe. The same air has passed through my uncle and now is gracing Serenity. You see, we give our last breath at death, and a new little being takes it up. In the Life/Death cycle we are all connected.
Do what you can to make the death part of the Life/Death cycle easier for you
Find out where you are and where you want to be emotionally
If you recall the “Map of Transition Emotions” from my previous post…I’m standing on “sad” on my personal terrain. Nathan, being the “fix it” kind of man, wanted to help me reach “happy” on the path. While I appreciate him wanting to help, I had to tell him that I WANT to be sad. It’s a strange feeling, wanting to be sad. But it came to my attention, while venting to Kay, that this is where I need to be.
Mourning is a process; grief is a process. And, while I’m okay with my uncle passing because I know he said, “I trust God” and that means he was good with whatever happened….the loss of that physical representation of my aunt and uncle’s love is tragic to my heart. So, I mourn.
A few days after my uncle passed I asked him to come to me to say goodbye. Not an hour later our cats caught a vole and brought him upstairs to play with. We got the little dude into Ethan’s terrarium so he could have a little food,water, and chill (not that kind of chill!) until we found figure out what to do with him. I don’t know much about voles, so I consulted two souls that love wildlife, my siblings “in law”. My sibling, Jenn, told me that he could be let outside to find a log to hide under or something and that he may be okay. We let him outside, and first thing he did was hide under a log!
I was certain because he found somewhere to go he would be fine.
The next day I found him dead on our front porch. Amazing…the Life/Death cycle strikes again.
Time currency is for the living
I’ve been trying to understand, for a very long time, that death isn’t the end. There are tons of theories on this, with no way to actually prove it. I’ve been told that it’s just a DMT trip- this is why you see all you see before you die. I’ve been told stories of people physically leaving their bodies and seeing themselves and others as they get closer to deaths door (this happened to my father when his mother, Norah, passed away. Fly high, Grandma). My Grandma Anita has told me recently that she, herself, has died and come back! It’s a pretty incredible story and I’m so blessed to have heard it. It blows my mind, and I’m here for a good mind blowing.
I cannot say, for sure, of what I believe. But I do know this: we are only allotted so much time here, and that time keeps moving whether we are apart of it or not. I feel the lesson in death is time.
It’s all about how we spend our time.
How we allow others to spend time with us.
We are all given a certain amount of currency of time, and we’re not sure how much of it we have, so spend it wisely.
Life is for the living
Death always gives us that realization that we do not know what we have until it’s finally gone. We do this all the time! We mourn the loss, we tell other’s to hold onto their loved ones and honor our time together. Then, somehow we get lost in the sauce, so-to-speak, and we need the reminder again. So, someone else’s time currency has run out and we feel the loss, and we tell each other to hold on to our time together. (See, it happened again…another Life/Death cycle within the Life/Death cycle).
Life is for you. The living. I hope you live your best life, so that when you pass the living have something amazing to look back on. Spend your time currency wisely, dear ones.
𝓙𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓪